Dating paraplegic and quadraplegic
'When I first went on Tinder, I just thought, "OK, I'm a nice person, I'm not bad-looking, I've got a good career", but then I felt like I had to view myself as a disabled person instead.' She is pretty used to it by now, and has found that it doesn't stop her from having a normal, happy life; she travels, has a good job in public relations, and lives by herself.
” Still, none of that stopped me from wanting, needing and pursuing love, just like everyone else. ” Our fun, healthy sex life came down to good communication, just as it does with every couple in a new sexual encounter.He asked simple questions: “Why are you in a wheelchair? It was easy and fulfilling for me to fight for my rights–non-discrimination in hiring, equal pay, architectural access–but hard to fight against cultural norms of beauty. I was on many panels for doctors and medical school students about sex and the disabled. Which was so insulting, suggesting that I brought nothing to the table.But even some medical professionals were capable of questions like: “Is this really an issue? ” (Ah, there is nothing like rejection in front of a crowd). Together our lives were better, easier than they were apart. And yet, I felt lucky, as if I had been pulled off the seconds shelf.But in the climate that prevailed at the time, people were shocked that I dared to hope for romance and physical intimacy. I was taught all of societies’ biases: that people with disabilities are different, sub-human, to be avoided (which is why we segregated them).It was as if, somehow, my disability made me less human to them. And yet, when I became one of “them,” I was, still me.